You are complete right now just as you are. The feeling of incompleteness is simply, powerfully, a belief that infected you in some moment, or moments, of childhood. Hold any newborn baby and the power of her completeness is full and present. You, too, were once a precious, complete human in newborn baby form, open-hearted and enough. But, then you began to experience life. You encountered the anger, fear, and sadness of others. They gave you too little or demanded too much. Being dependent upon them for our very survival you smartly abandoned yourself, you accepted the blame, and you agreed, "I am not enough." "I am," was traded for, "There is something I am not that I need to be. When I am this way, I will be enough…when I am enough, then I will be loved."
This trade has deep, often tragic, consequences. The vast energy of our life force becomes fully conscripted to the service of becoming Enough. We collect tokens of outward worth: games won, degrees earned, weight lost, items purchased, appearances kept up. We reach and we strive and when we finally arrive, the glory is bright and short and then the tide within rises again, "There is something I am not that I need to be…" We begin the chase anew.
This belief of "not enough" is not a thought that can simply be traded for another thought. "Not enough" is both an energy, a current, running through the body, and an empty space carved out of the complete "I am." Completeness cannot be given by another or achieved by acquisition. It cannot come from the outside world because it is already yours.
Beneath the fibers of habit woven deeply throughout our being, lies the warm light, "I Am" waiting to be known, waiting to live. Not for one day…, not for when…, or if only…, but for the joy of being [whole] now.
It is with the greatest of courage that we sink deeply into the fabric of our fears for our I Am. Afraid we will not get what we long for, we avoid this journey each day, not knowing it is our great longing. What would it feel like, if just for a moment, the current shifted, and emptiness was filled, and we could know that you are complete right now just as you are?
As a therapist, mother, daughter, partner, and seeker, I am always on the journey toward a more peaceful, authentic life. I hope to share knowledge, insights, and the ongoing unknowns I find along the path...