A common question has been weaving its way through many of my sessions lately:
"How can I be worthy if I am not doing anything to prove it?"
How could it even be possible to be worthy, good enough, dare I say, perfectly fine just the way you are, thankyouverymuch, if you are not thin, rich, and balanced with Instagram-ready everything?
Love this question.
Yes. You, me, that guy over there. We all have inherent worth simply because we woke up this morning. Yes, really.
It's like this: think about holding your baby, or someone else's baby, or a made-up baby or your cat.
This baby, all babies, or your cat, have this amazing, precious worth simply because they are.
They can't do anything. They lay there. They eat. They sleep. They cry. They poop. Not really proving much.
You were once that baby. You were born a precious, worthy, more than enough, vulnerable, can't-do-anything being.
And you still are. You, right now at your core, are a vulnerable, defenseless, precious human.
You were told that you were only worthy if you behaved, performed, passed the test, got the title, were the best. But you were told this by other human beings who were also told that they had to earn their enoughness.
But this is a lie, because you already have it. You were born with it. It is still in you, buried under the felt belief in the lie that you have to earn it.
Invariably, there's a next question. I'm already there.
"But, if I let myself think that I am enough just for waking up, why would I do anything?"
Let's sit with that for a minute…
Do you see it?
Are we really spending our whole lives doing everything we do in order to be enough?
Is that really the purpose of life? To prove that we can be thin enough, happy enough, balanced enough, pleasing enough, monied enough? Yeah?
The real question is:
What would you do if you weren't trying to be enough?
If your enoughness was a given, what would you do that might not be what you are spending so much energy on now?
In case this freaks you out a little, don't worry. This is not a question you need to answer. Keep doing what you are doing.
The important thing is to find and practice connecting with your inherent worthiness, right now in this moment simply because you are here right now in this moment.
Practice connecting with your inherent enoughness. This is what matters. You have lots of practice at disconnecting from it. It's just a new habit waiting to be formed.
Your vulnerable, precious, defenseless self has much to share with you about what you would do if you knew you are already enough.
If you would like to learn more about how I help women connect with their inherent enoughness, reach out to me. I'd love to chat with you.
As a therapist, mother, daughter, partner, and seeker, I am always on the journey toward a more peaceful, authentic life. I hope to share knowledge, insights, and the ongoing unknowns I find along the path...