Some days, we just don't feel good inside. Maybe because we are bored. Maybe because we encountered a few little (or big) triggers. Maybe because it's our habit. Maybe there is no real reason other than we are human, and sometimes we don't feel good.
In our culture, we believe not-feeling-good to be a problem that we shouldn't have. We believe a narrative that we should always feel good and that we are doing something wrong if we don't. Yet, every one of us hurts. Every one of us carries wounds that fester, fears that paint some dark truth we are convinced is True. We try another pill, another book, another program promising to carry us away from our pain and deliver us in to a land of perfect balance, completeness, enough-ness. This promise robs us of the knowledge that we are already there.
When we can pause and be with what is within us right now, when we can breathe into it, turn toward it with our curious, noticing mind, we are empowered to ease the raging tides. When we pause and notice that our wounded self longs for our acceptance, longs to be welcomed back home, we can offer ourselves the healing salve we seek.
This pausing and acceptance can feel impossible at first, like throwing a barreling freight engine in reverse. After all, have we not devoted everything we have at escape, masking, diversion? Our defenses blare signals of dire warning.
With love and courage, we can continue our pause. We can calm our defensive urges with compassion. We can be kind to the aching surges of old hurts, paralyzing fears, and burning shame. "All of you are welcome here. You are letting me know you need more of me. More kindness, more gentle compassion, more comfort."
We may be surprised the find the surging fears and aching wounds settle, and we are calm again.
As a therapist, mother, daughter, partner, and seeker, I am always on the journey toward a more peaceful, authentic life. I hope to share knowledge, insights, and the ongoing unknowns I find along the path...