Anger takes many forms. A sudden, raging storm, surging thick with pressure and tingling electricity. A choking flash-flood. A slow-burning fire, self-certain and justified. An ever-present dark cave seething with cold, wet breath. Sometimes anger pours out of us, a torrent of arrows seeking flesh. Sometimes anger collapses in on us with razor-sharp condemnation reprimanding our very existence.
The intensity of anger eclipses all other knowing. Its energy demands release, harm, destruction, power. In a moment of delicious satisfaction we act. With a loud voice, fast hand, reckless pen, we harm or even destroy a thing, a moment, a connection. With a tight mind, we abandon self-care for self-harm. There is a moment of release and relief. The lungs can breath and the muscles drain of urgency. The fluid mind takes in the aftermath and, in no time at all, the heavy clouds of fear, shame, and regret roll in, ready to fuel the next storm.
Pause. Pause and notice this anger, this deep rage. Be with the intensity of the storm and offer acceptance for its surging need to be heard. Offer understanding for its powerful need to be seen. Our anger is a messenger demanding our audience.
Beneath its fireworks and bluster is a deep well of fear, sadness, and vulnerability waiting to be known. As we stay with the intensity, ask, how am I afraid right now? How am I sad? How am I vulnerable?
Notice the simple fact of I am afraid. I am sad. I am vulnerable right now. Offer gentle compassion for this fear, sadness, and vulnerable self. Of course I feel sad. Of course I feel afraid. Of course I feel vulnerable.
As we notice our deeper feelings of vulnerability, our anger may clear and we become open to the path of self-care. We may ask for something we need. We may say No to something we do not want. We may let go of an old story that does not support our present intention.
We are no longer stuck in the cycle of anger and shame.
We craft our experience and move with intention through our relationships with ourselves and our others.
As a therapist, mother, daughter, partner, and seeker, I am always on the journey toward a more peaceful, authentic life. I hope to share knowledge, insights, and the ongoing unknowns I find along the path...